Teacher

Last Saturday, an elderly man is stopped by the police around 1:30 a.m.
The policeman asks, "And where are you going at this hour of the night?"
"Officer, I'm on my way to a two-hour lecture about alcohol abuse and its effects upon the human body as well as smoking and staying out late."
The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"
The driver replies, "That would be my wife."